When you look at me.......

Waiting for you in the grass lawns....

As a grass in the grass lawn....

My eyes are waiting for a drop of water

That touches my dry skin

When you look at me..!!

It was like a rain to deserts-your arrival..!

You like a white rose with dews prior to sunrise

Sliding with the tender green leaves

Was crossing the green trees..!!

Like an angel you withered a smile..!!

Flower arch cant bearing your beauty

Give birth to lavender flowers

Over your dark hair..!!!

I was watching all these as a stranger

But your eyes never looked at me.!

Like a poison killing inch by inch

Everyday i am dying

Not because of you..

Because of my love for you..!!!

Under Sunrise....

My eyes are filled with tears...

But a projecting smile....tears and smiles mixed......

I am in a different state...

I have to smile as well as cry as well......

Ho the mother land..!!!!!

I lost you my mother land...!!!

Some of my smiles got lost in the tears......

A lost love story....

A love story that cant happen.......

Life fucks me....me fucks life...

Whenever i fuck it i cry and the vice versa......

I am a mad but i am a cheer.....

Contradictions kisses me.....

In this tear for thousand and thousand of years.....

Life is fucking for me.....

Under the roof of money..my mind is decaying.....

Under the roof of male chauvnism my life is fucking......

But i will strive hard to fuck these fuckers..to break their penis

And make it as a feed for fire...

My pen is encouraging me....

My mind is encouraging me.....

I never lost myself...

Because these fucks will be deleted soon...by our blood and letters...and

I see a new horizon under the sun

Where everyone are friends under the sunrise...!!!!!! under the sunrise..!!!!!!!!

Story of a child labour...!!!

With tears squeezing out my their fragile eyes....

I am looking them....

They are comming and going in the benz cars.....

They live inside the ac rooms.....

But i had never even visited the foot step of an ac hall.....

Looking like a strange dog my eyes are looking there strangely..

Under the roof of sun and looks for there any debri food deposited in the plates....!

I am eagerly waiting for that..

As like a great party..i am waiting there..

But they go to the tasmarcks and allow the drugs to fuck them..

They allow the money to flow like a river...

But i am waiting for any coins that run off from their coat pockets..!!!

I am living in the ditches....My own ac.....combined with water bath facility....

My partners are the larvae of mosquitoes.....

Always any sick associates with me.....

And when sun rises i will be ready for taking my old silver plate out of my stack

And i am waiting for any coin that kiss my plate..!!!

My people of my age are walking out of their schools by evening and drink and tea....

But for me with the dirty clothes and the empty belly

I am wandering here and there aimlessly in front of any teashops to get some tea or its drops..

In more cases i get the flow of hot water in my face....!

But i allow it to touch the land..with that hot water my hot tears get mixed

And a acid rain is expected to fall on my mother earth...!

For me when it rains- like you people i cant hear its soft music....

But my mind is thinking about the hard cold i have to percept and any illness

To my body which inhibit from begging tommorow?? oh god!! how can i fill my stomach???!!

My mind is not cared by anyone..!!

I can earn for my owner..!!

His son of my age is eating well!!!

I am earning for him aah?????

Who is for me???

My kidneys may be stolen at any time...

Any sex seeker can fuck me hard any time...

If i stop him from harrasing me..i may be killed..

Or who can give me the money???

I am a valueless child..even i was born as a human by nature..

There are dogs called tommy in my owners house which eats dozens of meat..

I cant expect even a single bone from it...

May i were a dog i would be treated good isnt???..good isnt????

I am praying to be dehumanated to a dog....

To walk in two hands and two feets..

To take out my tongue outside...

To have fur so that i may be selected for growing...!!?/

To have this human nature no more..!! no more.!!!

Hey John.....!!!

Tears bursting out from my hearts cracks me..

I am completely disappointed...

I am a gay and i cant be accepted by family..

My friends consider me as a sexual element...

My eyes are always flooded with tears...

The everlasting tears.......!

I lost my childhood......

I lost my deep relations..

I loved her deeply and she left me with untreatable scars..

She is happy without any problems...

I am wandering here and there aimlessly without anyone...

I am alone in this crowd world..

My heart is wounded..

No one cant treat that.....

I am loosing my relations as i stand for my rights..

When i am in a heart of love all ignore me..and

When i am in a heart of pain all ignore me..and

When i am in a heart of zeroes all accept me well..

Ho! john..why this network???

Ho! john ...What does this world say????

Ho! john this world need to complete its needs and

You are "used" in this context.....

You are "used" in this context.....

With everlasting scars proceed john..

That is good daa........

Yes paa....yes..that is good daa....really good..

Instead of being in a state of addiction to any drugs..

Hey! you raise your young fragile sound yaar..!!!

Hey that is enough to prove that you are alive daa...!!!

No confusions daa...be happy and

Accept the struggles as beautiful events daa...!!

Nature suppourts you daa!!!

John come up daa..!! like a flying bird..!!

Boylove

He was my friend...

My good friend..

He was beautiful..

I loved him very much...

I loved his beauty..

With his every moments

And his speech i loved him...

But he never loved me..

He behaved as a friend to me..

As like the world do....

But i cant do it that...

In my mind i cant see him as friend..

But as my lover...

Loving his germinating moustaches....

I loved his beauty..

I wanna express that..

But i cant as like the symtom of common love...

I am feeding him in my mind.....

One afternoon my mind..

Compulling me to express him my love..

Insisted me more..

I have gone near to him..and i told him

"I love you"

I expected any positive reactions..

But that was a blow to me..

Hey! He can just go away naa...

Instead he awarded me the party of saliva..

Missing from touching my body..

I was a toy to them..

As i am a mad true lover..

Having affinity to a boy..

I was rejected..

Many peoples tongues ceased their conversations with me....

Oh! I lost my salad days....

The only mistake done by me is loving him....

These people frame rules that love is blind..

And the applies wherever necessary in a dialogue..

But in practical my love was not accepted..

Due to a single reason that i am a gay.......

I cant love and mingle with others

As i am gay...

And my happy days got melted in this everlasting fire...

Onside for love and another for happy....

And another one for happy.....

A Melancholy strain....

We are the people who are fragile and slender..

We cant survive without our parents..

Without my mother, my father and my friends..

We want to wander here and there aimlessly

Like a boat lingering in the streams..

With our friends..

But ours are not blesssed like you...

We have to work under hot chimneys..

Our dreams and small small happy events

Are stolen to fill our stomach..

We have to work 18 hours

While my friend who is the son of my owner

Eats well and he remains happy forever..

But our tears got mixed with the oil lust of machines

And lubricate the giant machines...

We are lubricants--our blood is the lubricant for our owners..

In the rainy days when my owners son plays with rain

I seeing the scene slowly like a stranger

From the dark windows....

Like a feeling of throat dipped in acids

With everlasting dreams

Survives under this ditch..

Under this jail..

Slowly my blinking eyes sets

To sleep..

To work tomorrow...!!

That was a season.....

That was a season...

With the reddish flowers and the belly buds of caesalpina...

With every tadpole swimming in the streams..

With water overwhelming from ponds..

With crabs and crab holes...

That was a season....

But now i lost everything..

Everything means everything..

My relations-my friends..-my lover--all..

I am a lone tree now...

I cant escape from this hell now..

With each and everyone looking me as indifferent..

For having the notion of intercaste marriages..

Everyone is looking me as different one..

Far away from them,...

What wrong i had did my child..??

Truth is borrowing a lone face to survive naa....

I am like a bacteria in extreme conditions...

And i have to live inside my cyst...

They laugh at me..

With my every philosophy..

Because they are indifferent to them..

They wish to see me as just a 18 years boy..

But society gives me calls to throw away this scarp...

I am a islander to them..

My ideas are cannibalistic according to them..

And they say that they are going to face the truth path...

My mind is laughing without none...

What hell they do with me??

Connecting this with sexual desires..

They try to arrest me..

But they dont know that water is overflowing...

They are not informed that they cant resist this..

Such an erruption is to be faced by this"truth" gang..

Till that my mind rest in peace....